She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
