I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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