I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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