I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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