This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
