Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize