puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
