and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
