his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
