how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize