apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
