please come you make the beer taste better
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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