Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
