On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize