giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
