Me. At least after what I've been through.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
