the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
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You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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