two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
