So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
