Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
