Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
