I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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