so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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