Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
50% drunk capacity currently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize