Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
