she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
