So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Four minutes until I can fart!
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Randomize
