she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
