I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You know, be my cock's hype man.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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