like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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