Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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