I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
