Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
