you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
