i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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