I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
