she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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