are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
