i barfeds in our rink
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
