There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
