yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
