Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
