wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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