I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
