You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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