i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
