today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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