real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
