Apparently you make a good broom.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
