were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
it was like eating out sand paper
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
