There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
