Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
