It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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