Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm too high and old for this...
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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