no, he came in my armpit
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
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I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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