You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
