He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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