He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
