I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Randomize
