Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
grandma shit on top of the toilet
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
