Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Randomize
