You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
