I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
