do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
