How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
