Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
