they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Randomize
