dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
