she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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