just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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