What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
